Wayside Gardens: Fantastic Wedding Hats


It used to be that no woman would attend a wedding without a hat. Like many of the old formalities, though, hat-wearing has gone by the wayside in many places. There is nothing more lovely and festive than a wedding guest in a hat, however, so dare to add one to your wedding day ensemble.In a way it is funny that hats have fallen out of fashion for wedding guests. If you have ever worn a hat to a wedding, chances are that some of the other women there came up to you and said that they wished they had the daring to wear a hat. It is so interesting that what was once considered proper is now considered daring! That means that you can have the best of both worlds while wearing a hat: you can be both avant garde and absolutely proper at the same time. Not too many other accessories can make that claim.Hats can add so much to an outfit. They are a great way to add drama and flair to more simple clothing. Hats are also a perfect way to express your personal style. If you are unsure about how to wear a hat to express your personality, take a look at some pictures of British women: they know how to pull off any type of hat!A hat is ideal for an outdoor wedding as it will not only look great but will also protect you from the sun. Look for a hat with a wide brim in an ivory or pastel color. A wedding hat should be festively decorated; it should not resemble anything that you would wear for gardening. You can either choose a hat that comes decorated or add your own embellishments to a simple portrait hat.For an outdoor wedding, floral accents are the perfect detail on your hat. Look for high quality silk flowers in colors to match your dress. To make the flowers dressier, it looks great to add sprays of pearls or crystals to the center of the blossoms; match the type of gem to your wedding jewelry. It is always lovely to have a satin or grosgrain ribbon tied around the base of the hat as well.A wedding in a church is another great place to wear a hat. It would look very smart to wear a medium brimmed hat with a pastel suit. The hat could either be in the same color as the suit, or in a neutral such as ivory or beige. For a ceremony in a house of worship, you will probably want a more elegant style than for an outdoor service. Wide swaths of tulle wrapped around the base of the hat are a good place to start. Just be sure to add some hints of color to keep the hat from looking like it was designed for the bride.A very formal high society wedding calls for an equally spectacular hat. For a late afternoon wedding, it would be extremely elegant to wear a black hat with black and white pearl wedding jewelry. Keep the hat from looking too somber by wearing it with a dress in a rich color and carrying that color into the trim on the hat. If you are feeling particularly brave, go ahead and wear a hat decorated with feathers. It may sound gaudy, but in the hands of a skilled milliner, this type of hat can be the height of good taste. Once again, look to the ladies of England for hints on how to pull off a truly fantastic hat.Weddings are festive occasions, and the guests should make sure that their attire suits the happy event. Too many people play it safe with boring outfits that lack any style or interest. Be a little bold, and top off your wedding guest attire with a spectacular hat! [EXTRACT] Used to be that no woman could attend a wedding without a hat. Like many of the old procedures, however, hat has gone astray in many places. There is nothing more beautiful and festive than a wedding guest in a hat, however, so dare to add one to your wedding day ensemble.In a way that is funny hats have gone from fashion for the guests. If you have ever worn a hat for a wedding, it is likely that some of the other women who approached you and said they wished they had the audacity to wear a hat. It is interesting that what once was considered appropriate is considered daring! That means you can have the best of both worlds with a hat can be both modern and absolutely correct, at the same time. Other accessories that not many can make claim.Hats can add much to a team. They are a great way to add drama and flair to the simple clothes. Hats are also a perfect way to express your personal style. If you are unsure about how to use a hat to express your personality, take a look at some pictures of British women: they know how to get any kind of hat A hat is ideal for an outdoor wedding because not only see! large, but also protects you from the sun. Find a wide-brimmed hat in ivory or pastel. A hat should be festively decorated wedding, do not resemble anything that you would use for gardening. You can choose a hat that is decorated or add your own embellishments to a simple portrait of a hat.For outdoor wedding, floral accents are the perfect in his hat. Find high quality silk flowers in colors to match her dress. To make the most elegant flowers, looks very good to add sprays of pearls or crystals in the center of the flowers, to match the type of jewelry to your wedding jewelry. It's always nice to have a satin or grosgrain ribbon tied around the base of the hat as well. A wedding in a church is another great place to wear a hat. It would be very wise to use a half-brimmed hat with pastel suit. The hat may well be in the same color as the suit, or a neutral such as ivory or beige. For a ceremony in a house of worship, you probably want a more elegant than an outdoor service. Large swaths of tulle wrapped around the base of the hat are a good place to start. Just be sure to add some touches of color to keep the hat apparently was designed for high society wedding requires a very formal bride.A equally spectacular hat. For an evening wedding, it would be very smart to wear a hat with black and white wedding jewelry black pearl. Keep looking too dark helmet you are wearing a dress in a rich color and bring that color in the upholstery on the hat. If you're feeling particularly brave, go ahead and wear a hat adorned with feathers. It may seem appealing, but in the hands of a skilled hatter, this type of hat can be the height of good taste. Again, look at the ladies of England for clues on how to make a truly fantastic hat.Weddings are parties, and customers must make sure your suit fits the happy event. Too many people play it safe with boring suits that lack any style or interest. Be a little daring, and the top of her dress wedding guest with a spectacular hat!

Wayside Gardens: How to Be Creative With Pressed Flowers


It's sad how so many people don't recognize or appreciate their own creativity. If you are one of these unfortunate individuals take heart.I for one, never dreamed that I could be creative until I discovered the joys of flower pressing. But as soon as I discovered flower pressing my talents literally started to bloom!And it was so easy because the flowers did most of the work for me. I simply couldn't go wrong because the flowers themselves dictated the designs and I simply obeyed. It was exhilarating.I soon discovered that if there was a particular aspect of flower pressing that I really enjoyed, it would suddenly begin to take off and succeed beyond my wildest expectations.For example I loved the actual process of designing my greeting cards. And because it soon became top of mind, I became aware of the little designs everywhere that most people don't even see.If I saw the dainty edgings on a table cloth it immediately became an inspiration for a new design. Or if I noticed a delicate flower painting on a teacup it was another source of inspiration.It really became quite exciting and I started to get a reputation for being artistic and creative. It was almost as if my creativity was taking on a life of its own. I even surprised myself and my designs became lovelier and more distinctive as I created one after another.Gardens, parks and waysides also became a source of inspiration for me and I began to see the little buds, dainty shoots and tendrils that busy folk pass by.As the seasons turned from spring to summer to autumn, nature responded with a show of the most intricate and colourful designs that I only had to harvest and take home to my busy flower presses.The best part is that throughout the seasons there is always something to do. In spring and summer I pick and harvest while in autumn and winter I make my designs.If you are looking for a hobby or a new craft, flower pressing is such a happy and creative outlet. I can recommend it heartily. You won't look back. [EXTRACT] It's sad how many people do not recognize and appreciate their own creativity. If you are one of those unfortunate individuals heart.I take on my part, I never dreamed I could be creative until I discovered the joy of flower pressing. But as soon as I discovered my talents flower pressing literally began to bloom! And it was so easy, because the flowers did most of the work for me. I just could not go wrong, because the flowers themselves dictated the designs and I obeyed, simply. It was soon discovered exhilarating.I if there was a particular aspect of flower pressing that I liked, suddenly begin to take off and succeed beyond my wildest expectations.For example I loved the actual design process of my cards congratulations. And because it soon became top of mind, I realized the designs just about everywhere that most people do not even see. If I saw the delicate edges of a tablecloth immediately became a source of inspiration for a new design. Or if I saw a delicate flower painting in a glass of water was another source of inspiration.It really made very interesting and started to have a reputation for being artistic and creative. It was almost as if my creativity was taking a life. I even surprised myself and my designs became more beautiful and distinctive as I created one after another.Gardens, parks and roadsides also became a source of inspiration for me and I began to see small buds, shoots delicate and tendrils popular pass-occupied. Since last season from spring to summer to fall, nature answered with a sample of the complex and colorful designs that only had to pick and take home to my flower better presses.The occupied part is that all stations there is always something to do. In spring and summer pick and harvest, while in autumn and winter do my designs.If looking for a hobby or a new art, flower pressing is a happy and creative output. I recommend it wholeheartedly. You will not look back.

Wayside Gardens: Adirondack Chairs - Providing You With a Posh Spot to Enjoy the Warm Weather


The weather is gorgeous outside, so you decide to take a half day vacation and enjoy it. However, as you head out to your backyard space, you realize you're missing an essential part of this plan, which is comfortable seating. So, to keep this from happening the next time around, purchase Adirondack chairs for your space.Adirondack chairs offer you one great place to unwind thanks to their design that dates back all the way to the early 1900's. So, if it's been around that long, then you know it has to be a good place to sit because if it wasn't, then it would have fallen by the wayside a long time ago.Anyway, back to the design of Adirondack chairs. This design features a spacious seat that has a slope to it, an angled backrests, armrests that are oversized, and typically one will sit lower to the ground, so if you want to stretch your feet out on the ground, you easily can. Basically, it is just one posh place to take it easy and would really be an ideal choice for putting in any outdoor area. Take your deck as an example, you could put three to four of these bad boys in place and create one awesome spot for you and your friends to take it easy. Or, if you want a more intimate setting, then you could put a few in place in your garden area if you wanted. A porch is another nice spot for one and a few other places where one would work well include a four seasons room, on a lawn, and even at the end of a boat dock.When buying your Adirondack chairs the most important thing that you need to keep in mind is to purchase ones that are crafted out of materials that can stand up under the elements. If you don't do this, then you are going to be out of luck when the one you get has to be replaced since it fell apart. Some of the better material options you could get include woods like Redwood, Southern Yellow Pine, Alder, and Teak. There are also some manmade materials that would be a great option to invest in too including different recycled polymers and thicker resins. All of these options can take a beating from the weather without breaking down.A great way to look into the different Adirondack chairs that you could possibly purchase is by turning on that computer of yours and doing some shopping online. You can breeze through the multiple selections in no time flat and when you do decide on something, it typically will be at a pretty reasonable price and it will be sent right to you. So, no having to worry about getting a vehicle big enough to haul it.In the end, if you really want to enjoy yourself outdoors, you need comfortable seating in place and Adirondack chairs fit the bill. Get yours today so the next time you want to enjoy the weather, you easily can. [EXTRACT] The weather is beautiful outside, so he decides to take half-day holiday and enjoy it. However, as you head out of your backyard space, you realize you're missing an essential part of this plan, which is to be comfortable. So to prevent this from happening next time, buy chairs Adirondack chairs for your space.Adirondack offer a place to relax thanks to its design that dates to the end in early 1900. Therefore, if you have connected all day, then you know you have to be a good place to sit, because if it were not, then the road would have been a long time ago.Anyway, back to design Adirondack chairs. This design features a spacious seat that has a slope of it, a back angled arms are large, and often one feels closer to the ground, so if you want to stretch your feet on the ground, is easy. Basically, it's an elegant place to take it slow and really would be an ideal choice to place in any outdoor area. Take your cover as an example, you could put three or four of these bad boys in place and create a stunning venue for you and your friends to take it easy. Or, if you want a more intimate setting, then you could put a few instead of your garden if you want. A porch is another good place for one and some other places where they could work well include a four seasons room in a garden, and even at the end of a ship Adirondack chairs dock.When buy the most important thing you need to consider is the purchase of which are crafted from materials that can withstand the elements. If not, then you will be out of luck when the recipient has to be replaced, as it came down. Some of the better choices you could get material is wood such as redwood, Southern Yellow Pine, Alder and teak. There are also some artificial materials that would be a great way to invest in many different polymers including thicker recycled resins. All these options can take a beating from the weather without breaking down.A so nice to look at the different Adirondack chairs you could buy it by turning on the computer of yours and do some online shopping. That can move quickly through multiple selections in no time flat and when you decide on something, it will usually be a fairly reasonable price and will be sent right to you. Therefore, not having to worry about getting a large enough vehicle to transport it. In the end, if you really want to enjoy the outdoors, you must be comfortable in the place and Adirondack chairs with the requirements. Get yours today that the next time you want to enjoy the good weather is easy.

Wayside Gardens: Psychological Advice For Managing Stress - 10 Tips


Stress is a common part of life. As the world we live in becomes smaller, faster and more demanding the simple joys of life become more precious and fleeting. Most of us cope, and get past each situation as it comes our way. For some, the stresses and demands build up and become so large we begin to wobble under their sheer weight. When our coping resources can't manage anymore, we feel acute stress and anxiety. If left unacknowledged, a host of problems come along. These may take a toll on our health, or lead to behaviors that are risky and even life-limiting.We face stressful circumstances on a regular basis. For some this is a daily occurrence. Stress may come in the form of change, such as beginning school or bringing a new baby into the home. We might also feel stress for physical reasons, such as menstruation, or having sleeping on a lumpy mattress. We face stress at work - perhaps due to factors such as a noisy work environment, impending deadlines or crowded trains to and from the office. Then there is stress located in the social world - for example, how a person feels on a first date, or when we feel anxious making interesting conversation at a party. Even seemingly harmless situations may cause stress, such as vacations, a change in sleeping or diet, and family get-togethers.Stress has been implicated in a wide range of illnesses, from physical disease to behavioral, emotional and cognitive problems.Stress changes our behaviorIncreases in alcohol, smoking and caffeine use are amongst the most common responses to stress. Stress can often lead to overeating and weight gain. It's always difficult to make causal statements in this area - for example, does stress cause these changes in our behaviour, or does the research just highlight people who behave in unhealthy ways, and in so doing experience stress (or are in some way more predisposed to it) ? Whatever the link, there is certainly an association. If we rely on personal experience rather than science, we know for ourselves that when we are most stressed and anxious, we reach for things that either dampen our stress or give us some degree of comfort. Unfortunately, cream cakes or an extra pint give only temporary relief - the problems that are causing our stress will still remain after we have indulged in these ways, and we may be less empowered or alert to meet the challenges before us.Stress makes us emotionally unwellSustained stress has been linked to depression. It can affect our ability to sleep, or feel rested when we wake in the morning. We may begin to lose enjoyment in the hobbies and interests we once enjoyed. We may start to feel at odds with our partner or children, because minor disagreements begin to feel like major battles. Feeling sluggish, distant and anxious has to take it's toll on our mood state eventually - after all, who likes to feel this way ?Daily hassles (such as traffic jams or household chores) have a more dramatic effect on someone who is already feeling stressed. This becomes a self-perpetuating cycle of irritability and frustration - rather than reducing stress or making us feel better, this cycle just creates more problems. In so doing, a deeper depression and hopelessness can begin to set in.Stress makes us physically sickIt's known that victims of heart attack have been found to report higher numbers of stressful incidents in the 6 months prior to the attack, than their healthy counterparts. Increases in occupational stress (e.g. as a result of increases in work load, responsibility or job dissatisfaction) have been linked to an increased incidence of coronary heart disease. Furthermore, longitudinal studies have shown that the level of self-reported stress levels are a good predictor of coronary heart disease in the future.How might stress have such a link with heart disease ? One explanation lies in the finding that high levels of stress seem to cause excessive arousal of the Endocrine system, and lead to Atherosclerosis (a narrowing of the arteries). This stress response increases blood pressure, and causes Hypertension. Together, atherosclerosis and hypertension are the most common cause of heart failure. If we accept that stress can also increase our caffeine intake and smoking behaviour, we know that such a lifestyle is not good for the heart.There is even some evidence to suggest that more stressful lifestyles precede the development of cancer. Studies have measured stress levels in initially healthy individuals, and over a long period of time, those reporting greater stress in their life have been more likely candidates for the development of cancer. Again, the explanation may lie in the physiological response to stress, or the unhealthy lifestyle that chronic stress can create and maintain. From a physiological point of view, the mechanisms thought to be at work once again involve excessive arousal of the Endocrine system. This is thought to have a depressive effect on the immune response, which has in turn been associated with conditions such as breast cancer.In recent studies, measures of psychological state and social problems (psychosocial data) have been considered accurate predictors of mortality and cause of death over 14 years ahead ! More highly stressed individuals are thought to have upto a 40% higher death rate than their lower stressed counterparts. The idea that stress will lead to an early grave is not to be taken lightly.It's all in the mind ?All individuals face potentially stressful experiences during their lives. However, the impact of similar stressors does not have a similar effect upon all individuals. Some people have terrible lives - they face deprivation and abuse, but somehow manage to survive and lead outwardly fulfilling lives. Others have relatively more comforts and support networks, and no obvious reason to become depressed or chronically ill on account of their circumstances. Furthermore, in the same situation, two individuals do not necessarily experience the same stress. It would seem therefore that to some extent, stress is 'all in the mind'.Research suggests that an enhanced 'hardiness' of character of an individual is the changing factor. This hardiness may take the form of a stronger commitment to self, an attitude of vigorousness toward the environment, and a belief that 'I am in control' of the events in my experience (psychologically termed a sense of self-efficacy and self-esteem).If we have a certain mind-set or approach to life, we are more likely to become stressed over relatively small incidents and events. This mind-set is characterized by the tendency to compete heavily with others, or take a self-critical stance. It manifests in the form of racing against time and others, and becoming easily aroused or angered. It's an attitude that tells us we are not good enough, and need to be better than others to be happy or successful. It's a way of thinking that leads us to overlook or be dissatisfied with what we have, and yearn for that which is yet to be acquired. It is a case of constantly living in negative equity, and being burdened with emotional debt. When small storms come our way, this mind-set easily throws us off-balance, and we feel stress in all it's forms.How to manage stressCertain events, situations and circumstances are inherently stress provoking, but the internal resources of an individual can help.The stress response is a balance between our perception of a demanding situation and our perceived ability to cope with it. If we appraise stressful situations to be within our resources to cope, we are less likely to feel stress. This points towards a strong sense of self-belief and self-esteem. It also suggests a positive attitude to life. But how do we develop this ?Of course, our childhood is very important in this regard. The messages we have heard repeated by our parents, peers and teachers over the years easily become our own internal narrative or story. What others think of us, becomes our own thinking about ourselves. Loving, empowering and accepting messages help us feel good about ourselves, and by extension about our abilities and skills. Such positive experiences of growing up help us to take greater risks, and in so doing we develop greater confidence. A positive developmental cycle is created and maintained. Unfortunately, not all of us are lucky enough to have such good upbringings. At worst, we are constantly criticized, to the extent that we develop an internal bully, who keeps criticising us long after these negative messages were first received.If stress seems to be a recurrent problem for you, and it is having a negative effect on your enjoyment of life and physical health, you may need to seek help. Here are some ideas for you to consider;1. In cases of financial stress or debt problems, do not bury your head in the sand ! Talk to your bank early, and anyone else that has loaned you money, and expects regular repayments. This would include companies expecting you to pay utility bills. You may benefit from seeing a debt counselor, through organizations like the Citizen's Advice Bureau, who can lead you through this process.2. It can also be helpful to talk with people you trust about aspects of your life that are creating the most unhappiness for you, financially or otherwise. For example, you may be struggling with an unfulfilling or neglectful relationship with your partner, which needs to change. Perhaps your work-play balance is way off the mark, taking the zest out of you. You may need to be encouraged by someone dear to you, to make some changes. Sometimes, a listening ear can be enough to help you bring personal problems into focus, and then feel encouraged to work on them.3. Regular and planned vacations can be a release, but you need to guard against this becoming a form of escapism from troubles - are you running away from problems that need you to be more present in order to resolve them ? On the other hand, are you making a planned decision to recuperate and relax, with the intention of finding solutions when you return ? It can be expensive to plan big holidays, so you may wish to consider small breaks, more often. A long weekend once every a month can be great, even if it's just spending time pottering around at home or in the garden.4. Regular exercise and changes in the usual routine are also good antidotes for stress. Try a new class at your local gym or community center - perhaps some yoga, pilates or tai-chi. Alternatively, try joining a club which involves doing things that you were once interested in, but have fallen by the wayside as you have become busier. Evening classes can also be a good change from the norm, but do guard against taking on more work !5. For some people, there is support to be found in religion or spirituality. Visiting the local church, temple or synagogue can be a very easy and welcoming way to build a new support network, and develop a fresh attitude to life and living. Faith can build hope and perseverance, especially at times of hopelessness and despair.6. Highstreet shops and health stores stock a range of relaxation and meditation tapes, which can be played before you sleep at night or whilst you take a slow bath. Techniques such as Progressive Muscle Relaxation and Self-Hypnosis training can be accessed through such audio recordings, with good results.7. Alternatively, you may wish to pick up a book from your local library or bookshop, on matters of time management, organizational skills or developing a more positive attitude. There are volumes of very interesting and engaging books on these topics, available for you to access. If you don't have time to read, why not pick up an audio tape ? Sue Jefferson's 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' is a good starting point.8. In more pronounced cases of stress, it may be advisable to consult your GP. He or she may offer professional advice on matters of diet, lifestyle and health related consequences of chronic stress. A sick note might give you some respite from work, and an opportunity to gather your resources before making changes. A visit to the GP may also form the beginning of a more specialist assessment for anxiety or depression. Most GP surgeries employ counselors on site, so that talking therapy can be accessed without a long waiting time.9. In more severe cases of stress, a referral to the local mental health service may be warranted. This can lead to a range of specialized talking therapies (and medication if required), to problem solve the stressful situations in your life. At a more fundamental level, psychotherapy can get individuals in touch with how they approach life, and why this might be so. It can help them relearn more helpful messages and self-narratives, so that self-esteem and self-efficacy can be enhanced. By building such internal resources, you are more likely to be able to cope with difficult circumstances now and in the future, so this can be a long lasting solution to stress related problems.10. If things feel hopeless, don't try to cope alone. The Samaritans run 24 hour helplines, and can guide you through how you feel. Chronic stress is usually a sign that something is not right in your life, and you could see it as an opportunity for important changes to be made. [EXTRACT] Stress is a common part of life. As the world we live in is getting smaller, faster and more demanding of the simple joys of life become more precious and fleeting. Most of us face and overcome each situation as it comes. For some, the stresses and demands build up and become so large that they begin to crumble under its own weight. When our resources to deal with can not handle more, we feel acute stress and anxiety. If left unrecognized, a number of problems to come. This can take a toll on our health, or lead to behaviors that are dangerous and even life in the face limiting.We stressful circumstances regularly. For some this is an everyday occurrence. Stress can come in the form of change, as the beginning of the school or bring a new baby in the house. You may also feel stress from physical reasons such as menstruation, or sleeping on a mattress packages. We are facing stress at work - perhaps due to factors such as a noisy work environment, impending deadlines or crowded trains and office. Then there is the stress placed on the social world - for example, how a person feels on the first date, or when we feel anxious an interesting conversation at a party. Even in seemingly harmless situations can cause stress, such as vacations, a change in sleep or diet, and family gatherings togethers.Stress has been implicated in a wide range of illnesses, physical illnesses behavioral changes to our problems. Stress, emotional and cognitive behaviorIncreases consumption of alcohol, snuff and caffeine are among the most common responses to stress. Stress can often lead to overeating and weight gain. It is always difficult to make causal statements in this area - for example, stress causes these changes in our behavior, or if the research just select people who behave in unhealthy ways, and in so doing experience stress (or are somewhat more prone to)? Whatever the link, there is certainly an association. If we rely on personal experience rather than science, we know for ourselves that when we are stressed and anxious, you get to things that either buffer stress or gives us a degree of comfort. Unfortunately, pastry cream or additional liters only give temporary relief - the problems that are causing the stress will remain after they have delivered in these ways, and may be less powerful or alert to face the challenges unwellSustained us.Stress us emotionally stress has been linked to depression. It can affect our ability to sleep, or wake up feeling refreshed in the morning. We can begin to lose the enjoyment of hobbies and interests they once enjoyed. You may begin to feel at odds with our spouse or children, because minor disagreements begin to feel like big battles. You feel weak, distant and anxiety has to take its toll on our state of mind over time - after all, who likes to feel this way everyday problems (such as traffic jams or household chores) have a more dramatic in someone who is stressed? . This becomes a vicious cycle of irritability and frustration - rather than reduce stress or make us feel better, this cycle only creates more problems. Thus, a deeper depression and hopelessness can begin to set in. Stress makes us physically sickIt known that heart attack victims have been found to report higher incidents of stress in the 6 months before the attack, than their healthy. Increases in stress (for example, as a result of increases in workload, responsibility or job dissatisfaction) have been linked with an increased incidence of heart disease. Furthermore, longitudinal studies have shown that the level of stress levels are self-reported a good predictor of coronary heart disease in the stress future.How could have a relationship with heart disease? One explanation lies in the finding that high levels of stress, apparently excessive excitation of the endocrine system and lead to atherosclerosis (narrowing of the arteries). This stress response increases blood pressure and causes hypertension. Overall, atherosclerosis and hypertension are the most common cause of heart failure. If we accept that stress can increase the intake of caffeine and smoking, we know that this lifestyle is not good for the heart.There even some evidence suggesting that stressful lifestyles precede the development of cancer . Studies have measured the stress levels in initially healthy people, and for a long period of time, the reports more stress in your life have been the most likely candidates for the development of cancer. Again, the explanation may lie in the physiological response to stress or the unhealthy lifestyle that chronic stress can create and maintain. From the physiological point of view, the mechanisms thought to be at work once again involve excessive activation of the endocrine system. This is believed to have a depressive effect on the immune response, which in turn has been associated with conditions such as breast cancer.In recent studies, measures of psychological and social problems of the state (psychosocial data) have been considered accurate predictors of mortality and causes of death over 14 years ahead! Individuals are believed to more emphasis to a mortality rate 40% higher than their counterparts in less stress. The idea that the tension will lead to premature death, is not to be taken all lightly.It 's in the mind? All individuals face potentially stressful experiences in your life. However, the impact of stressors like do not have a similar effect to all individuals. Some people have a terrible life - face deprivation and abuse, but they manage to survive and live a full life to the outside. Others have relatively more comfort and support networks, and for no apparent reason for depression or chronic diseases because of their circumstances. Moreover, in the same situation, two people do not necessarily experience the same tension. So it seems that to some extent, stress is "all in the mind." Research suggests that greater "resistance" of the character of an individual is the factor of change. This resistance can take the form of a greater commitment to oneself, an attitude of vigor to the environment, and the belief that 'I have the control "of events in my experience (called a sense of psychological self-efficacy and self-esteem) . If we have a certain mindset or approach to life, which is more likely to become stressed by the relatively small incidents and events. This attitude is characterized by the tendency to compete strongly with others, or take a stand criticism. It manifests itself as a race against time and the others and become easily excited or angry. It is an attitude that says they are not good enough, and have to be better than others to be happy or successful. It is a way of thinking that leads us to overlook or be satisfied with what we have and yearn for has not yet been acquired. This is a case of constantly living in negative equity, and being overwhelmed by an emotional debt. When small storms come our way, this way of thinking easily throw us off balance, and feel the tension in all its forms.How stressCertain to handle events, situations and circumstances are inherently stressful, but the internal resources a person can help. The stress response is a balance between our perception of a demanding situation and our perceived ability to cope with it. If we value the stress that within our resources to cope, it is less likely to feel stress. This points to a strong sense of self-confidence and self esteem. It also suggests a positive attitude towards life. But how can we develop this? Of course, our childhood is very important in this regard. The messages we have heard repeated by our parents, peers and teachers in recent years easily become our own internal narrative or story. What others think of us becomes our own way of thinking about ourselves. Amar, empowerment and acceptance of messages help us feel good about ourselves, and by extension of our capabilities and skills. Such positive growth experiences helps us to take greater risks, and in doing so, develop more confidence. A positive development cycle is created and maintained. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have a good upbringing. At worst, we are constantly criticized, as we develop an inner bully that keeps criticizing long after these negative messages were the first to stress received.If seems to be a recurring problem for you, and that is having an effect negatively on the enjoyment of life and physical health, you may need to seek help. Here are some ideas for you to consider: 1. In cases of financial difficulty or debt problems, do not bury your head in the sand! Talk to your bank at the beginning, and anyone else who has lent money, and expect regular payments. This includes companies that expect to pay utility bills. You can benefit from seeing a debt counselor, through organizations like the Citizens Advice Bureau, which can lead through this process.2. It can also be helpful to talk with people you trust about aspects of your life that are creating most of the unhappiness of that, financially or otherwise. For example, you may be struggling with a frustrating or neglectful relationship with his partner, who has to change. Maybe your job is to play balance too far from the mark, with the aim of you. You may need to be encouraged by someone close to you, to make some changes. Sometimes, a listening ear can be enough to help bring personal problems into focus, and then feel encouraged to work in them.3. Regular and planned vacations can be liberating, but avoid it becoming a form of escape from the problems - are to flee from the problems that need to be more present in order to solve? On the other hand, are you making a decision to recover and relax planned with the intention of finding solutions when you return? Plan can be expensive for big parties, so you may wish to consider small breaks more often. A long weekend once a month may be large, even if only to spend the time entertaining at home or in the garden.4. Regular exercise and changes in daily routines are also good antidotes for stress. Testing a new class at your local gym or community center - maybe a little yoga, pilates or tai-chi. On the other hand, try to join a club that is doing things that interested him once, but have fallen by the wayside as they have become busier. Afternoon classes can also be a nice change from the norm, but not avoid taking on more work! 5. For some people, there is support found in religion or spirituality. Visit the local church or synagogue temple can be a very easy and enjoyable to build a new support network, and develop a new attitude to life and life. Faith can build hope and perseverance, especially in times of despair and despair.6. Highstreet shops and actions of health has a number of relaxation tapes and meditation, you can play before sleeping at night or while taking a swim slow. Techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and self-hypnosis training can be accessed through such audio recordings, with a good results.7. Moreover, you may want to take a book from your local library or bookstore, time management, organizational skills and the development of a more positive attitude. There are volumes of books very interesting and attractive in these topics, available for you to access. If you do not have time to read, why not pick up an audio tape? Sue Jefferson 'Feel the fear and do it anyway is a good starting point.8. More pronounced in cases of stress, you may want to consult your doctor. He or she can offer professional advice on diet consequences, lifestyle-related health and chronic stress. A sick note might give you a break from work and the opportunity to pool their resources before making changes. A visit to the doctor may also form the beginning of a more specialized assessment for anxiety or depression. Most doctors use the counselors at the site, so that talk therapy can be accessed without a long time.9 expected. In severe cases of stress, a reference to the local mental health service may be justified. This can lead to a variety of specialized talk therapies (and medication if necessary), to solve stressful situations in your life. At a more fundamental level, psychotherapy can get people in touch with their approach to life, and why this might be so. It can help them learn new posts useful and self-narratives, so that self-esteem and self-efficacy can be improved. By the construction of such remedies, it is more likely to be able to cope with difficult circumstances, now and in the future, so this may be a lasting solution to stress related problems.10. If things feel hopeless, do not try to cope alone. The Samaritans operate 24 hours help lines, and can guide you through how you feel. Chronic stress is often a sign that something is wrong in his life, and could be seen as an opportunity for important changes to be made.

Wayside Gardens: 4 Ideas For Your Work From Home Business

Sometimes coming up with ideas for your own work from home business can be hard to do. This really doesn't need to be the case however because the Internet is jam packed ways to make money working from home. In this article we will give you four easy work from home business ideas that may be just what you are looking for.1. Turn a hobby into a business! This can be a great idea because you get to do something that you enjoy and get paid for it. One thing you can do is create information products and sell them based around your hobby. Whether you could provide tips on sewing or interior decorating, to cooking and gardening, there is an opportunity to make money doing it selling information.2. Providing a service is always a great way to work from home. There are many things that you can do out of your house including hair styling, providing debt management service, doing massages, and so on. People will pay you and are more comfortable today going to your home as opposed to a office that is harder to get to.3. Internet marketing offers a lot of ways to start your own work from home business. For example affiliate marketing is one way that people are becoming wealthy on the Internet today.The nice thing about being an affiliate marketer is everything is provided for you including the products, marketing materials, a website, and so on. You earn commissions and are paid for selling products for the affiliate merchant.4. You can start a home business of your own as a network marketer and make a lot of money that way. This business model has been around for over 50 years, but today the Internet is allowing more people to become wealthy than in the past. The old school MLM techniques are going by the wayside.It is possible for you to build a worldwide network marketing business fairly quickly online. You still need to master social networking skills and relationship building to be successful with this work from home business idea.In summary these are four easy work from home business ideas that you could start and turn into a profitable income venture. As with any business, you need paying customers and advertising and promotion skills. This is especially true if you market on the Internet today with all of the competition in websites and blogs currently available for customers. [EXTRACT] Sometimes it comes up with ideas for their own work from home business can be difficult to do. This really does not have to be the case, however, because the Internet is filled with ways to make money working from home. In this article we will give you four easy work from home business ideas that may be just what you are looking for.1. Turning a hobby into a business! This can be a great idea because you get to do something that you like and get paid for it. One thing you can do is to create products and sell information about their hobby. Whether you could provide tips on sewing or interior decorating, kitchen and garden, there is an opportunity to make money selling it information.2. Provision of a service is always a great way to work from home. There are many things you can do outside of your home including hair styling, providing a debt management service, massaging, and so on. The people who pay and are more comfortable going home today instead of an office that is more difficult to get to.3. Internet marketing offers many ways to start your own work from home business. For example, affiliate marketing is one way that people are becoming rich through Internet today.The great thing about being an affiliate marketer is all that is provided, including products, marketing materials, a website, and so on. You earn and get paid commissions for selling affiliate products merchant.4. You can start a home business of their own as a network marketer and make lots of money that way. This business model has been around for over 50 years, but today the Internet is allowing more people to become wealthy in the past. The old-school techniques are on the wayside.It MLM is possible that you can build a network marketing business around the world very quickly online. Still need to master the skills of social networking and relationship building to succeed in this business work at home synthesis idea.In these four easy work from home business ideas you can start a business and become profitable revenue. As with any business, you need to pay to customers and advertising and promotional skills. This is especially true if the market on the Internet today with all the competition on websites and blogs available to customers.

Wayside Gardens: Separating The Darkness Part One, A Prayer Of Supplication And Declaration

Lord, You are my restoration and my portion in all things. You restore every waste place in my life and make them beautiful reflections of who You are. Nothing is out of reach of Your redeeming and restoring love.Today I need Your light in the midst of my dark places...in the midst of every area in need of restoration. I invite you to come and do whatever it takes...and impart whatever I need to reflect who You are in me. I acknowledge the value You have placed on me and agree with You that I am indeed treasure in an earthen vessel. Hover over my earthen vessel as you hovered over the earth and make all things new. I close my eyes and I can see You hovering over me. I can feel the breath of Your Spirit moving across me and into the recesses of my mind. Touch every hidden subconscious thought which does not line up with Your Word and what You have declared me to be.As I sit in Your presence I will absorb every portion of Your being. I will absorb every truth and Word you speak to me. Come and penetrate the deepest places of my heart and mind. Penetrate to the very internal subconscious regions of my thinking from whence actions come. . In Your presence I am renewed...I am restored. Right now...this very moment...I declare that darkness is fleeing and Your light has come for Your mercies are new every morning...every moment. Your grace is all sufficient for the restoration of my entire being.You inject me with pure light through the Living Word. Every Word I read and every Word You speak is transferring me in to a new season of life and sonship. One by one each hindrance is falling away for the dominos have been pushed. I declare that I am entering a new season of reformation and change.Therefore, expose every work of the enemy and You will bring destruction to the enemy's plans of darkness (Deuteronomy 34:27). I posture myself in Your presence and in Your Word. As I do this, come and hover over me. Let me hear Your breath inhale the darkness and exhale the light. I receive Your all sufficient grace and mercy. With faith and expectancy I breathe You in.Lord, what seems like small steps to me has brought You joy. Forgive me for being so hard on myself when You are so pleased. What I cannot see, You can. You already see the victory. You already see and call me a victor. Time is of no matter to You. Teach me to love the process and enjoy going through it with You. Give me Your perspective on process and time. How I want Your heart in reference to patience and time.I will grab a hold of Your word for it is truth and life to me. It is Light. I receive wisdom to walk as a king and priest...to function as Your ambassador with full authority and anointing. I agree with You and declare that my life is a place of Eden in this earth and an oasis for those in need. I am fruitful and I do multiply according to Your promise...according to Your Word. Perfect order is coming to my life and to my way of thinking. My mind is renewed in You by the power of Your Word and I am clothed in Your righteousness.Lord, You have clothed me in Your righteousness and I am seated with You far above all hindering foes and powers of destruction. You are my strength...my Strong tower...my ever flowing fountain of Life and Light. I see You for You are with me and in me. I am Your watered garden, an Eden of abundant fruit and provision to the world around me.I look at my life and actions sometimes and wonder how I can be made in Your image. Yet, You say I am. Therefore; I choose to agree with You and thereby, enable myself to walk in all You say I can and will. I am Your representative in and on Earth. I am a living example of Your image to those around me...an oasis to the needy and hurting. My focus is on You and You alone.I tell my heart to be of good courage and to have faith. I break agreement with any lie to the contrary, lies forming a smoke screen aimed at fooling me in to believing otherwise. I break all covenants with guilt and shame. Instead, I embrace conviction by Holy Spirit and receive the freedom and liberty given to me by the blood of Christ.Stir my heart to remember all the good things You have accomplished in and through me. This is not pride, but it is Your testimony in my life and has power to engender faith, hope and love. Stir me to remember all the times I have overcome by faith and endured until times of victory and I will be encouraged. Yes, stir me to remember who I am in You.For, when I abdicate who You say I am, not only do I loose, but all those around me loose. I take the dominion You gave Your life for and I choose to walk in it by faith. I tell shame and guilt to flee, for I am walking in complete grace and forgiveness. Today is a new day of light and revelation. There is no time to waste on petty self-incriminations. I choose to forgive and let all inadequacies fall by the wayside as I embrace the Light of Your Word. I am Your representative. I am Your plan. Thank you for choosing me.Lord, forgive me for every time I have gotten ahead of Your timing-for not building one day at a time because of fear or worry. When I do this I am hard on myself and feel I have failed in some way. Teach me to rely on the conviction of Holy Spirit with complete trust in the fact that Your kindness leads to repentance. Wash me with the cleansing power of Your Word each and every time I read or hear it. Water ever seed of Eden within my heart and enable me to flourish in practical ways into the oasis you say I am.Continue to separate all darkness...all dark thoughts of failure and bathe me in Your light. Teach me to move with Your flow in order for things in my life to function properly according to Your purpose. Every house needs the right foundation. Separating light from darkness in my life builds a good foundation on which to operate from. Substance, the fulfillment of dreams and a confident heart become my portions.Lord, once again I give You the hidden places of my heart where insecurities abound. I give them to You, and I move on. I can see the Jordan and I know the ark of Your presence in my life will move me across on dry ground. I will agree with You and say, "I am Your living example." I ride with you and call You, Abba Father. Amen [EXTRACT] Lord, You are my recovery and my portion in all things. Restore all waste places in my life and make beautiful reflections of who you are. Nothing is beyond the scope of redemption and restoration of love.Today need your light in my dark places ... among all the areas that need restoration. I invite you to come and do whatever ... and disseminate what they have to reflect who you are in me. I recognize the value you placed in me and I agree with you that I am actually a treasure in an earthen vessel. Hover over my crock as it hovered over the earth and make all things new. I close my eyes and I see that hanging over me. I can feel the breath of his spirit moving through me and in the recesses of my mind. Touch each hidden subconscious mind does not align with his word and what I have said be. As I sit in your presence I will absorb every part of your being. I will absorb all the truth and the word you're talking about. Come and penetrate the deepest of my heart and mind. Penetrate the subconscious regions very inside of my way of thinking where they come from the actions. . In your presence I'm new ... I am restored. At this time ... right now ... I certify that the darkness is run and your light has come for your mercies are new every morning ... each time. His grace is sufficient for the restoration of my being.You all injected me with the pure light through the Living Word. I read every word and every word you say I are transferring to a new season of life, and parentage. One by one each obstacle is the apostasy of the dominoes have been pushed. I declare that I am entering a new period of reform and change. Therefore, it all works to expose the enemy and bring destruction to the enemy's plans of Darkness (Deuteronomy 34:27). I myself the position of his presence and his word. In doing so, come and hover over me. Let me hear your breath inhaling and exhaling darkness to light. I get enough Your grace and mercy to all. With faith and hope that you breathe in.Lord, which seems to be gradually brought me joy. Forgive me for being so hard on myself when you're so happy. What you can not see, you can. You see the victory. You see and call me a winner. Time has no importance to you. Teach me to love and enjoy the process of going through it with you. Give your views on the process and time. How do I want your heart, referring to the patience and the time.I have to hold on to your word, because it is the truth and the life for me. This is the Light. I can receive the wisdom to walk like a king and a priest ... to act as its ambassador with full authority and anointing. I agree with you, I declare that my life is a place of Eden on earth and an oasis for those who need it. I am fruitful and multiply according to his promise ... according to your word. Perfect order comes into my life and my way of thinking. My mind is renewed in you by the power of your words and I'm dressed in righteousness.Lord, you clothed me with your justice, and I'm sitting with you far above all the enemies that hinder and destructive power. You are my strength ... my strength ... my ever-flowing source of life and light. I see thou art with me and in me. I am your well-watered garden, an Eden of plenty of fruits and the provision for the world around me.I look at my life and actions sometimes and wonder how you can do to your image. However, Thou sayest that I am. Therefore, I choose to agree with you and, therefore, allow me to walk in all you say I can and will. I am your representative and on Earth. I am a living example of its image to those around me ... an oasis for the needy and the suffering. My focus is on you and you alone.I tell my heart to be in good spirits and have faith. Break according to any lie to the contrary, is forming a smokescreen to fool me to believe otherwise. I break all agreements with the guilt and shame. Instead, I embrace the conviction by the Holy Spirit and receive the freedom and the freedom it gave me the blood of my heart Christ.Stir to remember all the good things he has accomplished in and through me. This is not pride, but his testimony in my life and has the power of faith begets hope and love. Stir me to remember all the times I have overcome by faith and remained until the time of victory and will be encouraged. Yes, I stir to remember who I am You.For when abdicate that say I am, I not only loose, but we all lose those around me. I can take the domain you gave your life and I choose to walk in Him by faith. I say to the shame and guilt to flee, because I'm walking in grace and complete forgiveness. Today is a new day of light and revelation. No time to waste on petty indictments. I choose to forgive and let all remaining shortcomings in the way as I embrace the light of your word. I am their representative. I am your plan. Thank you for choosing me.Lord, forgive me for every time I come ahead of his time-not to build a day at a time for fear or worry. When I do this I am hard on myself and feel I have failed in some way. Teach me to trust the Holy Spirit's conviction, with full confidence in the fact that his goodness leads to repentance. Wash me with the cleansing power of your words each and every time I read or hear it. Of water every time Eden seed in my heart and allow me to flourish in a practical way to say am.Continue oasis to separate all the darkness ... all dark thoughts of failure and bathing in your light. Teach me to move with the flow so that things in my life to work correctly according to His purpose. Every home needs the right foundation. The separation of light from the darkness in my life is based upon a good foundation on which to operate. Substance, the realization of dreams and a trusting heart become my portions.Lord, again, I give you the hidden places of my heart, where uncertainties abound. I give to you, and move on. I can see the Jordan and the ark of your presence in my life that move across dry land. I agree with you and say, "I am your example of life." ¿I can go with you and call you, Abba Father. Amen

Wayside Gardens: Be Patient - Your Seed Will Grow!

We all have areas in our lives in which we are planting seeds. If you are a parent raising your children to be Godly, respectful, kind hearted individuals, you are sowing good seeds into their souls. If you are expanding your education or working hard towards a promotion, then you are sowing seeds that will benefit your future. If you are tithing and giving offerings to help the needy, you are sowing into the lives of others in ways that you may never realize.The thing about planting our seeds is that often times we don't see the fruit growing before us, and can then become discouraged. For instance, as our boys have become teenagers, we are not observing all of the ideals we poured into them when they were little. It appears like perhaps, all of that diligent work may have fallen to the wayside. The same holds true in my business, I have invested countless hours of my time and energy, and invested every extra penny we could squeeze into starting and growing the company, yet there has been very little financial gain.As I was contemplating these things, I was reminded of our box garden. It proves to be an excellent analogy of the planting and reaping that happens in our every day lives. To begin with, before you can plant the seeds, you must do the hard work to prepare the soil. This entails, weeding, turning, cultivating, and adding rich nutrients to the foundation. Once your soil is prepped, you then take the tiny seeds and bury them into the ground. After all of the labor, do you see results right away? No, you must wait patiently for the seed to grow.You know you've' taken all the right steps to produce a good crop, but if you did not have the foreknowledge that time will pass before the seed will actually produce , you might become disappointed. And before you ever see the tiniest of sprouts, you must continue to work hard, weeding, watering, protecting, and caring for the soil.After much anticipated waiting, you see a sprout, it is very exciting, but still small, and must continue to be nurtured. Given time, it begins to grow stronger, thicker, and lusher. Your eyes now witness buds beginning to bloom, offering hope that fruit is on its way. And finally, once the plant matures and begins bearing fruit, pop, pop, pop, it just keeps on producing, usually to the point of overflowing.Now you are blessed in abundance with beautiful, hearty fruit, and have such a large bounty, that you are able to give much of it away! So wherever you are in the planting process, be patient... your seed will grow! In due season, your seeds will be securely rooted, and you will enjoy a wonderful harvest! [EXTRACT] We all have areas in our lives when we are planting seeds. If you are a parent raising children to be holy, people respect, kind-hearted, which is sowing good seeds in their souls. If you are further education or work hard for a promotion, then you are sowing the seeds that will benefit your future. If you are the tithes and offerings to help the needy, which is planted in the lives of others so that you may never realize.The planting our seeds is that they often do not see the fruit grows before us, and can then get discouraged. For example, when our children have become teenagers, we are not watching all the ideals that were poured into them when they were young. It appears as such, all that diligent work may have fallen into the ditch. The same is true in my business, I have spent many hours of my time and energy, and spent every extra penny you could get into startup and growth of the company, however, there has been little financial gain.As what I was thinking these things, I remembered our garden box. It shows that it is an excellent analogy of planting and harvesting that occurs in our daily lives. To begin with, before planting the seeds, you must work hard to prepare the soil. This implies, weeding, turning, grow, and the addition of nutrient-rich of the foundation. Once the soil is prepared, then take the tiny seeds and bury them in the ground. After all of the workforce, do you see the results immediately? No, you have to wait patiently for the seed to grow. You know who has "taken all appropriate measures to produce a good crop, but if they have no prior knowledge that the time will pass before the seed actually occur, you may be disappointed. And before you see smaller outbreaks, we must continue working hard weeding, watering, protecting and caring for the highly anticipated soil.After waiting an outbreak occurs it is very exciting, but still small, and must be fed. Over time, start grow stronger, thicker and more lush. His eyes now witness the buds begin to blossom, offering hope that the fruit is on the way. And finally, once the plant matures and begins to bear fruit, pop , pop, pop, only continues to occur, usually to the point of overflowing.Now are blessed with beautiful fruit in abundance, abundant, and has a great reward, they are able to give much more away! So wherever you are in the process of planting, be patient ... your seed will grow! In their time, their seeds are firmly rooted, and enjoy a wonderful harvest!

Wayside Gardens: Internet Authors Don't Use Quills

In the 1980s I was a member of an active writing circle. We were discussing that old chestnut, 'how to write', and one member proudly said that he couldn't be bothered with these new-fangled word processors that were just about starting to appear in offices and homes. No, he said, he had an electric typewriter. That was good enough for him. It did all he wanted to do and produced submittable copy. He had got used to it, it suited him and he was happy to stick with it. Other, more modern members, saw the benefits of computer technology and were anxious to talk about which machine to buy, value for money, and suppliers. It provoked a lively debate. That is, until one member pointedly said: 'Shakespeare used a quill pen. That was good enough for him. If we aspire to wanting to write as well as the Old Bard, why don't we copy his methods?'Well, we don't, most of us. If you've seen that film, 'Shakespeare in Love', you will know that writing with a quill is awkward and messy. It's a skill that has to be learned from an early age, and not something to be dabbled with. Yes, England's greatest playwright used that method, but then, he didn't have a lot of choice. In one way he was very modern: he could write. A generation before, the only people in the country who could use a pen at all would have been the landed gentry and monks. Shakespeare was very lucky in having received an education, of sorts, and so could put pen to paper. The only alternative, then and earlier, would have been for him to make the stuff up and dictate it to someone who had the literary skills to record it. Even earlier, poets simply memorised what they created. We call them Troubadours, and imagine that that was a romantic age, forgetting the damn hard work that committing words to memory involves, (and the problems of trying to recall the words later ' think Bob Dylan).The answer, of course, is that writers have used all manner and means of 'writing' through the ages. That best-selling novelist Jeffrey Archer is very proud of the fact that he drafts all his works by hand, then gives them to a selection of secretaries to put on word processor, then works with an Editor at his publisher to buff up the draft and turn it into saleable copy. One of the most prolific authors of modern times, the creator of Perry Mason, Earle Stanley Gardener, never wrote a single word down in his life. He spoke every paragraph of all his novels into a Dictaphone and then again, paid a secretary to take the tapes and type them up for him. The best-selling romantic novelist Barbara Cartland used to lie in luxury on silk covered sofas and was accustomed to speaking her words into the scented air in front of her. A secretary was sitting behind her, out of sight, taking down the prose in shorthand. Ho hum, a rich variety. Take your pick.In modern times, we have moved on, (or so we pretend). However, be warned: a computer, or dedicated word processor, is no longer the height of sophistication and the way of the future. It all depends, you see, on where the words are going, I mean, who you are planning to send them to. The problem for modern authors is that most of them still assume they have to deal with very old-fashioned Traditional Publishers. These business people haven't moved on since the 1930s. They still expect writers to send them printed copy, probably a sample chapter and a synopsis if you are a novelist. From the point of view of this kind of publisher, it doesn't matter what manner or means were used to produce that copy, it's all good. Dictaphone, secretaries, computer or even electric typewriter, it all comes out as black print on white paper, and as long as it's double spaced and single sided, it meets their requirements ' well, as least as far as submission rules are concerned. There is still no guarantee that your neatly printed proposal will be accepted, or even looked at. It rather depends on who you are.Meanwhile, back in the present, the twenty first century, Internet Authors are finding the whole process has grown increasingly irrelevant. Since they don't have to ever print out anything, and can move their computer files directly to a print-on-demand publisher like Lulu.com on-line, there is no question of doing anything else. They sit down on their home computers, create the stories and novels, and upload them electronically. The only time the words are ever printed out is when the final publication is produced and the book is mailed to your home. In that all-encompassing process, there is no need for any middlemen, even if they are attractive secretaries, and no need for other methods ' apart from the keyboard. Some time soon that may go as well, in which case Voice Recognition software will remove another stage in the process. Then, all you do is talk to your computer, and after some juggling around on the computer screen, a book will arrive on your doormat.The production process, therefore, has become meaningless to the Internet Author. The only step you have to take is to get the ideas out of your head and onto a computer screen. Everything else follows. Of course, that doesn't guarantee quality. Back to the 1980s, and one Traditional Publisher complained that 'young men' had read about the success of Jeffrey Archer in their magazines and seen pictures of him sitting with his secretaries in front of a word processor. 'I've got one of those', they said to themselves, 'It doesn't look so hard', and they would sit down and try and churn out a 'best seller', just like Jeffrey did. They failed. After several attempts, they might have had to admit that they weren't the 'born story teller' that Lord Archer always claims to be. Maybe that's a good thing. Computers and the internet make writing and publishing easier, which means, as time goes on, it will also be easier to find the good writers, the imaginative authors, and the ones with something to say. Others may drop by the wayside, but it will be because they are unreadable, it won't be because the technology has diverted them into thinking that having a quill pen in your hand can make you an immortal poet. [EXTRACT] In the 1980s I was a member of a circle of active writing. We were talking about the old saying, "How to Write", and a proud member, said he could not be bothered with these processors that newly minted words were about to start showing up in offices and homes. No, he said, had an electric typewriter. That was good enough for him. He did everything he wanted and produced a copy submitted. She had been accustomed to it, it suited him and was happy to stay with her. Other, more modern, I saw the benefits of computer technology and were eager to talk about what machine to buy, value, and suppliers. This provoked a lively debate. That is, until a member deliberately, said: "Shakespeare used a pen. That was good enough for him. If we want to want to write as well as the old bard, why not copy their methods? "Well, we do not, most of us. If you saw the film" Shakespeare in Love ', you know that writing with a pen is awkward and messy. It's a skill to be learned from an early age, and not something that raid. Yes, the greatest playwright of England, used that method, but then did not have much choice. In a very modern way: you could write. A generation earlier, the only people in the country that could use a pencil to all who have been landlords and monks. Shakespeare was very fortunate to have received an education, class, so you could put pen to paper. The only alternative then and before, have been for him to do things and give to someone who had the literary skills to save it. Even before the poets simply memorized what they have created. We call troubadours, and imagine that it was a romantic era, not to mention damn hard work the commission of the words to mind is, (and the problems of trying to remember the words later, "Bob Dylan) . The answer, of course, is that the writers have used all kinds and means of "writing" through the centuries. That the best-selling novelist Jeffrey Archer is proud of the fact that the drafts all his works by hand and then gives a selection of the secretaries to put in a word processor, then an editor working with your editor to polish the draft copy and make it marketable. One of the most prolific writers of the modern era, not the creator of Perry Mason, Earle Stanley Gardner, wrote a single word in his life. He talked all the paragraphs in all his novels on a Dictaphone and then again, paid a secretary to take the kinds of ribbons and up for it. The best-selling romantic novelist Barbara Cartland was sleeping in luxury silk covered sofas and used to speak their words in front of her perfumed air. A secretary sat behind her, out of sight, taking the prose in abbreviated form. Ho Hum, a rich variety. Take your pick.In modern times, there has been (or so intended). However, be warned: a computer or dedicated word processor is no longer the height of sophistication and the way forward. It all depends, you see, where the words go, I mean you are planning to send a. The problem for modern authors is that most of them still assume they have to deal with very old fashioned traditional publishers. These businessmen have not changed since the 1930's. They still expect the writers to send a copy, probably a sample chapter and synopsis if you're a novelist. From the point of view this type of editor, no matter what form or means were used to produce the copy, everything is fine. Dictaphone, secretaries, computer or electric typewriter, which everything goes black on white paper, and while it is double spaced and single sided, that meets their needs "and, at least as regards submission rules are concerned. Still no guarantee that your proposal carefully printed will be accepted, not even look. Rather, it depends on who you are.Meanwhile, back in the present, the twenty-first century, the authors have found Internet throughout the process has become increasingly irrelevant. I do not ever have to print anything, and you can move your computer files directly to a print on demand publisher, Lulu.com on-line as, it is not to do anything else. They sit on their personal computers, creating stories and novels, and electronic load. The only time the words are printed every time is when the final publication is produced and the book is mailed to your home. In the process, all-encompassing, there is no need for intermediaries, although attractive secretaries, and without other means' away from the keyboard. Some time before he can do as well, in which case the voice recognition software will eliminate a new stage in the process. Then all you do is talk to your team, and after some juggling on the computer screen, a book will doormat.The production process, thus meaning has become the Author of Internet. The only step to take is to get the ideas of the head and a computer screen. Everything else follows. Of course, that does not guarantee quality. Back to the decade of 1980, and a traditional publisher complained that "young people" had read about the success of Jeffrey Archer in his magazines and I've seen pictures of him being with his secretaries in front of a word processor. "I have one of those" they said to himself: "It seems so difficult," and they would sit down and try to foist a 'best seller', as did Jeffrey. They failed. After several attempts, which could have had to admit that they were "born story teller" that Lord Archer always claims to be. Maybe that's a good thing. Computers and the Internet make it easier to write and publish, which means that as time passes, it will also be easier to find good writers, imaginative authors, and those who have something to say. Others may fall into the road, but it will be because you can not read, because the technology is not diverted them to think that having a pen in hand can make a poet immortal.

Wayside Gardens: The Road to Hana - Is it Worth It?


The 56 miles of the Road to Hana include over 600 curves and over 50 one-lane bridges, but the scenery can't be beat. There are waterfalls right next to the highway, wayside parks, rainforests, and scenic outlooks of the beautiful blue sea. There are the Painted Bark Eucalyptus trees, and the Hawaiian village of Keanae. Although not long in miles, the trip from Kahului to Hana usually takes 2 to 4 hours, due to the winding nature of the road and the many spots that call out to you to stop and look. Many people drive this road themselves, but there are tour companies that will gladly do the driving for you. Or you can get above it all and go by small plane or helicopter. One of the best no-drive options is to go one way by helicopter and the other by tour van.But the question is, no matter how you get there, is it worth it? If you want to experience Hawaii as it once was, the answer to that is an absolute "Yes!". Hana truly is Heavenly. It's a mostly undeveloped, quiet little town with a population of less than 800. In order to really make the trip to Hana worthwhile, you need to stay at least one night, but two is better. The Road to Hana is more than just a beautiful, sometimes challenging drive, it is the path to the "Last Hawaiian Place" on Maui. There are several options for spending the night in Hana. Accommodations range from the luxurious Hotel Hana-Maui to inexpensive bed and breakfast inns. Virtually none of the lodgings in Hana have TV's in the rooms, and not all offer in-room telephones. There's not a large selection of restaurants, primarily the Hotel Hana-Maui and The Hana Ranch Restaurant.What makes the end of the Road to Hana worth a visit? For a small town away from the hustle and bustle, Hana offers a wide choice of activities. There are beaches of every color -- white or black, gray or red. You can swim, snorkel, kayak, surf, boogie-board or freedive, or just enjoy the view and maybe a picnic There are numerous hiking trails, including the Pipiwai Trail, above the Oheo Gulch and the Wai'anapanapa Coastal Trail from just north of Hana Bay to beyond Wai'anapanapa State Park. There are also many trails at the summit of Haleakala. You can go horseback riding with native Hawaiian guides, spelunking at the Ka'eleku Caverns or hang gliding above Hana. On the cultural side, there's the Hana Coast Gallery, the largest gallery of Hawaiian Arts in Hawaii, and the Hana Cultural Center & Museum. The National Tropical Botanical Garden at Kahanu is nestled in one of the largest untamed native hala (Pandanus) forests in the Islands. And then there's the Hasegawa General Store. Immortalized in song, this is the place for Hawaiian music CD and cassettes, Hana Blend Coffee, Hana Water, Naborly Farms Macadamia Nuts, Ono Farms Organic Dried Fruits, t-shirts, books, videos, and more. This isn't a tourist spot, it's the only general store around. Don't set your expectations too high, and you will probably enjoy a walk through its aisles.So if you want to escape the touristy Maui for a couple of days and just enjoy a peaceful interlude, yes, the Road to Hana is worth it! [EXTRACT] The 56 kilometers of the road to Hana include more than 600 curves and over 50 one-lane bridges, but the scenery can not be beat. There are waterfalls just off the highway, road parks, tropical forests, and scenic views of the blue sea. No trees are eucalyptus bark painted, and the Hawaiian people of Keanae. Although not long in miles, the trip from Kahului to Hana usually takes 2 to 4 hours, due to the winding nature of the road and the many places that call you to stop and look. Many people drive the road themselves, but with tourism companies in driving pleasure for you. Or you can get over everything and go by plane or helicopter. One of the best in the unit without options is to go in one direction and the other helicopter tour van.But the question is, no matter how you get there, is it worth? If you want to experience Hawaii as it was before, the answer is an absolute "yes." Hana is truly heavenly. This is a mostly undeveloped, quiet little town with a population of less than 800. So that's really worth the trip to Hana, you need to stay at least one night, but two is better. The road to Hana is more than just a beautiful drive, sometimes challenging, is the way of the "Last Hawaiian Place" in Maui. There are several options to spend the night in Hana. Accommodations range from the luxurious Hotel Hana-Maui to the cheap bed and breakfast hotels. Virtually none of the accommodations in Hana have TVs in the rooms, and not all offer phones in the room. There is a wide variety of restaurants, especially the Hotel Hana-Maui and Hana Ranch Los Restaurant.What makes the end of the road to Hana worth visiting? For a small town away from the hustle and bustle, Hana offers a wide variety of activities. There are beaches of all colors - white or black, gray or red. You can swim, snorkel, kayak, surf, boogie board, or apnea, or simply enjoy the view and maybe a picnic, there are numerous hiking trails, including the Road Pipiwai above the Gorge Road and Wai Oheo 'anapanapa northern coast from Hana Bay to beyond Wai'anapanapa State Park. There are many roads on the summit of Haleakala. You can ride horses with native Hawaiian guides, caving in the Caverns Ka'eleku or hang gliding over Hana. In the cultural sphere is the Hana Coast Gallery, the largest art gallery in Hawaii in Hawaii and the Hana Cultural Center & Museum. The National Tropical Botanical Garden Kahanu is in one of the largest wild native hala (Pandanus) forests on the islands. And then there's the Hasegawa General Store. Immortalized in the song, this is the place for Hawaiian music CDs and cassettes, coffee mixture Hana, Hana Water, Macadamia Nuts Naborly Farms, Ono Farms Organic Nuts, shirts, books, videos, and more. This is not a tourist spot, is the only general store at all. Do not set your expectations too high, and is likely to enjoy a stroll through its aisles.So if you want to escape the tourist Maui for a couple of days and enjoy an interlude of peace, yes, the road to Hana worth it!

Wayside Gardens: Stages of a Start Up - What the Entrepreneur Can Expect - Part 2


Year Three - Becoming an ExpertCongratulations on becoming an adult business owner! Clients you worked with in year one and two are referring business to you. You realize how powerful referrals are and you work on developing a distinct referral strategy.You've invested in additional education and certification in your field. This gives you credibility and allows you to be more selective in choosing your clients. You no longer have to take the clients that give you headaches and don't pay their bills. People are coming to you with questions because they recognize that you have the expertise to provide the answers. Your close ratio has improved significantly because the referrals you receive are already pre-sold on your services. This means you don't have to work as hard as you did in the past. You've got more time for yourself, more time to live your life.By now you've built network of contacts and you've established yourself as an entrepreneur in the business community. The relationships you worked so hard to build are beginning to provide a return on investment. You've identified the networking groups that yield the best results, and you've let others fall by the wayside.You are now making more revenue and you are excited about the possibilities you envisioned since day one. Suddenly there's more money for extras. The old worn out office desk has out lived out its usefulness and you begin to shop around for something more suitable. You decide to invest in new technology and systems that you'll need to be more efficient.Year Four - Reaping the RewardsYou are now a mature business owner and a master-gardener. Your many vines have ripened with age and are producing hoards of beautiful blooms that reach geographical areas you never imagined. You need only to fertilize and water the vines occasionally to keep them healthy and happy.By this time you have figured out how to take your company to the next level. You've created a virtual business and a team of experts to guide you: Employees or independent contractors, Attorneys, Accountants, Business Coaches, Mentors, Financial Advisors, Graphic Designers, Writers, and anyone else you may need to help build your wealth. You realize that you don't have to do everything yourself. There are others out there who specialize in what you need and they can easily be on your team. All you have to do ask them.Business comes to you easily and frequently. You've developed a reputation as a specialist in a specific area by leveraging the power of niche marketing. Your referral partners know when to send you business. You receive new client inquires almost daily and you've learned to clone yourself and refer business to others on your team.Your new business comes from referrals, the internet, and networking. You write about your specialty, you speak to groups with confidence, and you are well known in the community.Conclusion:Your four-year "overnight success" was a long road to travel. You learned that you need the support of your spouse, friends, and family to get you through each start up phase. Going forward you may need the support of a coach or a mentor - someone to hold you accountable for your key success actions. This point is critical. It's focused action that gets results, not rhetoric or vision.©Copyright 2007- Suzanne Muusers - All Rights ReservedReprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long the article is printed in its entirety including the about the author information, you leave all the links active, and you do not edit the article in any way, and include the copyright statement. [EXTRACT] Three years - Becoming a ExpertCongratulations in becoming a business owner for adults! Have you worked with clients in one year and two refer business to you. You realize how referrals are powerful and working on developing a clear reference strategy.You I have invested in additional education and certification in their field. This gives you credibility and makes you more selective in choosing clients. They no longer have to take the customers who get headaches and not pay their bills. People come to you with questions, because they know who has the experience necessary to provide the answers. Their close relationship has improved significantly because of the references you receive are already pre-sold on their services. This means you do not have to work as hard as it did in the past. Have more time for yourself, more time to live your life. By now you've built the network and is established as an entrepreneur in the business community. The relationships that worked so hard to build are beginning to provide a return on investment. You have identified the networking groups that perform best, and has let others stay in the wayside.You are now making more money and are excited about the possibilities expected from day one. Suddenly, there's more money for extras. The worn old desk office has lived outside of their utility and you begin to shop around for something more suitable. You decide to invest in new technologies and systems that have to be more efficient.Year Four - Reaping the RewardsYou now own a mature business and a master gardener. Its many vineyards have matured with age and are producing accumulations of beautiful flowers that come to the geographic areas you never imagined. Just fertilize and irrigate the vineyards from time to time to keep them healthy and happy.By this time you have found a way to take your business to the next level. You've created a virtual business and a team of experts to guide you: employees or independent contractors, lawyers, accountants, business coach, mentor, financial advisors, graphic designers, writers, and anything you might need to help build your wealth. You realize you do not have to do everything yourself. There are others out there that specialize in what you need and can be on your team. All you have to do is ask you them.Business easily and often. You have developed a reputation as a specialist in a specific area, harnessing the power of niche marketing. His partner of reference to know when to send business. Get new clients almost daily question and has learned to clone itself and refer to other businesses in your new business comes from referrals team.Your, internet and networks. You write about your specialty, to speak with confidence groups, which are well known in the community.Conclusion: Your four years, "The success of the Night" was a long way to go. He learned that it takes the support of your spouse, your friends and family to get through each stage of creation. In the future you may need the support of a coach or mentor - someone who controls their actions key to success. This point is critical. It focuses the action that gives you results, not rhetoric or vision Copyright © 2007 - Suzanne Muusers - All Rights ReservedReprint rights:. You may reprint this article provided the article is printed in its entirety including the author information, leave all links active and do not edit the article in any way, and include the copyright statement.

Wayside Gardens: The Tao of Music - Chapter Three - Be Greater Than Your Ego!


All of these common reasons for wanting to be a musician are EGO ORIENTED. Your ego is a demanding slave driver which is never satisfied. It constantly pushes you to do more, be more, achieve more. In the eyes of your EGO, you are NEVER good enough and what's more, you are never GOING TO BE good enough. What a painful and wasteful way to live!Your ego tells you that you must be able to play faster scales, more complicated drum beats, more impressive songs than anyone else. You must gather more and more attention for your amazing technical abilities. The more you pursue the satisfaction of your ego, the more it will elude you. That is the nature of this EGO BEAST. If you want to be a musician, turn your attention AWAY FROM YOURSELF and concentrate your focus on the MUSIC.Become a servant to the magnificent creative power that is MUSIC. By putting the music before your ego, you will naturally attract everything that you need to become a musician--EXACTLY at the moment that you need it and are capable of handling it! The appropriate exercises, lessons, even the perfect teacher will come your way. Your only job is to appreciate these things as they come and take joy in putting them to use.I can't begin to tell you how many students, both on and off line, have expressed concern with overwhelming "stage fright"--performance anxiety. What are the thoughts that go through your mind before a performance? Do they go something like: What if I mess up? What will people think of ME? Everyone will be looking at ME!Can you see that these are all ego concerns? I can tell you from years of performing experience that if you concentrate on yourself, you are going to be nervous. No one is comfortable at the thought of being judged by a crowd. If, however, you immerse yourself in the MUSIC, become one with it, concentrate ONLY on it, your performance anxiety will fall by the wayside. Let the music play YOU!Above all--do NOT brag about your playing or continually try to convince yourself and others how great and knowledgeable you are! There is an INVERSE relationship between self-aggrandizement and true musicianship.It goes like this: The great ones never brag and the ones who brag are never great! Start observing as you interact with others who play music--you will be amazed at the truth of this axiom. Self-promoting and bragging are "weeds" in your garden of Music. Get rid of them!In summary, if you are to become a musician, you must serve the MUSIC and not YOURSELF. Stop keeping score of your ego-driven accomplishments and start doing your very best to honor and celebrate the great creative force of music--IT has chosen YOU!Check back often as there will be many more chapters following "The-Tao-of-Music-3! [EXTRACT] All these common reasons for wanting to be musician EGO oriented. His ego is a demanding slave driver which is never satisfied. Constantly pushes you to do more, be more, achieve more. In the eyes of your ego, which are never good enough and what is more, they'll never be good enough. What a painful and useless to live! Your ego tells you that you should be able to play faster scales, more complicated drum rhythms, songs more impressive than any other person. You must gather more attention for his incredible technical ability. The more we pursue the satisfaction of the ego, the more you evade. That is the nature of the beast EGO. If you want to be a musician, to turn attention from himself and focus their attention on an official MUSIC.Become the exceptional power of which is music. By putting the music before his ego, which will attract everything you need to become a musician - exactly when you need it and are able to handle it! Appropriate exercises, lessons, even the perfect teacher get in the way. Your only job is to appreciate things as they come and rejoice in making them use.I can not begin to tell you the number of students, both on and offline, have expressed concern about "stage fright" overwhelming - the performance anxiety. What are the thoughts that go through your mind before a performance? This is what something like this: What happens if I'm wrong? What will people think of me? Everyone will be looking at me! Can you see that these are all concerns of the ego? I can say from years of experience in the realization that if you focus on yourself, you'll be nervous. No one feels comfortable with the idea of ​​being judged by a mob. However, if you immerse yourself in music, becoming one with it, focus only on herself, her anxiety fall by the wayside. Let the music you hear above all else - DO NOT brag about your playing or continually trying to convince himself and the others are large and well informed! There is an inverse relationship between self-aggrandizement and musicianship.It truth is this: the great not to boast and brag that they are not great! Begin to observe as they interact with other people that play music - you will be amazed at the truth of this axiom. Self-promotion and boasting are "weeds" in the garden of music. Get rid of them! In short, if you become a musician, you must serve the music and not yourself. Failure to keep track of your ego achievements and start doing your best to honor and celebrate the great creative force of the music - you have chosen back often as there will be many more chapters, after "El-Tao- of-Music-3!

Wayside Gardens: Top Ten Practices in the Pursuit of Happiness

Growing up I sensed my mom was happy in spite of many struggles. I saw that her values and appreciation of life's simple pleasures played an important part. Even so, I needed to personally experience what she modeled before I could apply her wisdom to myself and others. From a young age I observed human nature, always wondering, "What does it take for a person to feel happy?" My quest for that answer has continued.Now, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have the privilege of sitting with clients every day who share with me the intimate details of their lives. Clients come to therapy in part because they want to feel happy! They come to seek solutions to regular life problems. They may need support and guidance to achieve their life goals. Whatever the case, they benefit from talking with a therapist. It is my belief that each individual is the expert on their life and ultimately the best solutions will come from within them. I also know if we can change our self-defeating thoughts, our feelings and lives will also change. Dale Carnegie said, "Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think."Thoughts are powerful! In therapy people can develop the tools, self-awareness, outlook and confidence to transform life's challenges into a meaningful life infused with energy and optimism. As a therapist, part of my work is to listen and pose pertinent questions to help clients accomplish their goals. Sometimes the issues are more complex and many layers need to be gradually uncovered. What follows are ten healthy practices people find of benefit as they navigate the variety of challenges in their lives.Practice #1: TAKE CARE OF YOUR-SELFTo feel happy, it is important to pay attention to the basics---sleep eight hours a night, eat healthy foods, and exercise daily. This will sustain the energy you need to accomplish your goals. It also helps stabilize your mood. Eliminate or reduce substances such as alcohol, caffeine, sugar, marijuana or other drugs that may be draining your energy and distracting you from self-care. Repeat the mantra "Breathe, just breathe" while taking slow, deep breaths to relax your body. Other techniques such as visualization are useful as well. Think about what relaxes you, what makes you feel good and incorporate those things into your daily life. When we prioritize these basics, we take care of ourselves on a daily basis. Without self-care, other parts of life may dominate, to the detriment of our physical and mental health.Another part of self-care is time management. Our society is fast paced and demanding of our time. When we are so busy or overwhelmed and do not take time to rejuvenate, we are likely to burn out or become less effective. In the wise words of William Wordsworth, "Rest and be thankful." List the things that drain your energy and find ways to appropriately delegate or eliminate them from your life. It is also important to ask for help when needed!As infants, we are dependent on our caretakers, usually mom or dad. As we become independent some of us are reluctant to ask for help, thinking it a weakness. In fact, "interdependence" is necessary for success in life. As stated by Isaac Newton: "If I can see further than anyone else, it is only because I am standing on the shoulders of giants".One thing you can do right now is make a list of the people you rely on. Then you can make use of it when you feel stressed or unhappy. Recognize that we are all social creatures who are connected and need each other. Mental health improves when we are involved with a healthy community. Do your best to distance yourself from people who are destructive or drain your energy. When you connect with supportive people and disconnect from toxic people it makes a world of difference.Practice #2: FIND BALANCE IN DAILY LIFEThere are many areas of life that need our attention, yet too often we focus on one thing at the expense of others. Work and children can be the squeaky wheels, but what about our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational health? Ernest Hemingway enlightens us: "I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have and I want to administer it intelligently." Americans work more hours than people in other countries and are the most productive, yet all too often our health and relationships take a back seat. This contributes to illness and divorce. When you maintain balance in your life, even if you struggle in one part of it, you can feel good that the rest of your life is going well. Continuing to invest in the good parts of your life helps you feel strong and satisfied, all of which helps you deal with your difficulties.Marital research by John Gottman suggests that to sustain a marriage, couples need a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. When counseling couples, I help them increase positive interactions while they are developing skills to transform the negative ones. Get a babysitter, take dance lessons, express your appreciation of each other, do things you know your partner will enjoy. If things are basically going well between you and your partner except in one or two areas, be sure to spend time together enjoying what is positive. Your worries or disappointments may diminish, and you will feel happier.In addition to the practices that lead to happiness, developing flexibility will help you adapt to the challenges you face in life. "Extraordinary flexibility is required for successful living in all spheres of activity." (Peck, 64) Parenting tends to focus on structure, routine, and consistency. By the same token, if nothing else teaches us the need for flexibility, parenting will. When people are inflexible they get stuck in one mode all the time. Be willing to learn, grow, bend, change your perspective or even admit when you are wrong. Not only is it no fun to be around people who lack flexibility, it is not healthy. When we allow ourselves to change, we not only surprise others, we might also surprise ourselves with how enjoyable life can be.Practice # 3: BE PRESENT - ONE MOMENT AT A TIMETake a look at how much you "stay and be" versus how much you "go and do." We tend to get so busy that self-care, rest, and time with friends and family may fall to the wayside. Most religions and spiritual guides talk about the value of prayer, meditation and other rituals of just being still and quiet or Being. A book I recommend on this subject is The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakeable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than the world can offer. (9)This practice of "Being" is accomplished by "staying in the moment," which is simply being in, and bringing our attention to, the present. In Taoism, there is a term called wu wei, which is usually translated as "actionless activity" or "sitting quietly doing nothing... regarded as one of the highest achievements or virtues." (Tolle, 179) When overwhelmed, we worry about all the things that might go wrong in the future. Try to surrender to the moment and determine what you need right now. More often then not meeting your current needs will lift your spirits.Practices that may be savored in the moment include eating, drinking, sleeping, dancing, playing, painting, drawing, coloring, exercising, reading, writing, gardening, and being with other people, animals, and nature. As I write, my cats linger at my ankles, looking for attention, as the setting sun lights up the tree outside in a magnificent golden hue. In this moment I can honestly say I feel truly happy. While you seek this kind of awareness in daily life, you are not consumed with the past or future, but are present in the moment, and this is where you can find peace."Surrender reconnects you with the source-energy of Being, and if your doing is infused with Being, it becomes a joyful celebration of life energy that takes you deeply into the Now." (Tolle, 173)In their play, children and animals teach us to celebrate the moment. Find joy in doing what you need to do today! You have the power of choice, and every moment is valuable. "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. / Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - GoetheAnother book that speaks to the benefit of making the most of our time and energy is The Power of Full Engagement, by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz. They assert that we actually become less productive if we do not take breaks or change activities every thirty to ninety minutes. Our physical and mental health are related and we must commit to taking care of both. Persistent stress actually kills neurons in the brain, and multitasking impacts memory. Therefore taking one moment at a time is part of self-care, contributing to our overall health and happiness.Practice # 4: SEE THE BIG PICTURE - VISIONAlbert Einstein knew that intelligence and imagination are highly correlated: "Imagination is everything! It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Living with a vision for your life gives it meaning and purpose. Imagination connects us to our gifts and passions where we discover our love for living. A lot of research supports the power of intention and visualization. If your current situation is difficult and you are at a loss as to what you can do, remember your past strengths and imagine where you want to be in the future. This can help you realize what you can do today to get you where you want to go.Self-discipline is accomplished when you can delay gratification, knowing your hard work will pay off in time. Sometimes we enjoy the immediate, other times we make different choices that lead to our long-term satisfaction. Learn to trust yourself when deciding what you need to balance today's pleasures with tomorrow's goals. "Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such." (Henry Miller)Practice # 5: APPRECIATIONWhen I was young, each morning as she drove me to school my mom would say, "Look at the morning glories." Tired, and still trying to wake up, I would roll my eyes and wonder why she said this every day. Later, when I moved away to college, I thought of her when I saw morning glories----finally appreciating her desire to share with me on a regular basis the beauty in nature. Now I walk as often as possible in lovely neighborhoods, by the ocean, lake or mountains, to appreciate and connect with nature to remember what a beautiful world we live in. Baby ducks or geese waddling around always lift my mood. Weekly I play fetch with a dog and daily I pet my cats and bask in their peaceful purrs."Do not pollute your beautiful, radiant inner Being nor the Earth with negativity. Do not give unhappiness in any form whatsoever a dwelling place inside you." (Tolle, 178) Stop and smell the roses and observe the miracle of life around you, regardless of your circumstances. Be grateful in everything. "Not what we have But what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance." EpicurusThis is one of the most powerful tools in life and relationships. Focus on the good, and more good will come. Ancient religions and modern spiritual guides will tell you the same. The Dali Lama, in The Art of Happiness describes it this way:Happy people in contrast, are generally found to be more sociable, flexible, and creative and are able to tolerate life's daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. And, most important, they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappy people. (17)When you focus on and give voice to what you appreciate about someone, it reinforces their positive behavior and creates intimacy. No one enjoys being criticized. Find the good in others, express the positive, and you will have long lasting relationships. Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek," and promoted servant leadership, with humility and love. Compassion for your enemies is difficult but forgiveness can lead to your own sense of peace. "Peace of mind or a calm state of mind is rooted in affection and compassion. There is a very high level of sensitivity and feeling there." (Dali Lama, 26)Others who know our strengths and weaknesses can help us view things in a more positive way. As a child I was playing outside when a bee stung me. I ran inside crying to mom. She sat me on the counter, pulled out a glass in which she began catching my tears. She held the glass up to the sunlight shining in through the window and said "Look at how beautiful they are!" I saw the rainbow of colors in my tears and suddenly I was laughing. There was joy and beauty even in my pain. It was one of the most valuable lessons I have learned.Practice # 6: ACCEPTANCE"The pain you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is," (Tolle, 27). The story I shared about my mom catching my tears in a glass to show me their beauty also taught me that it is okay to cry. One of my roommates told me she felt uncomfortable when I cried because she did not know what to say. I told her, "Just tell me I am beautiful when I cry!" From then on we enjoyed the experience of laughing and crying, knowing tears are a natural physical release offering relief. Now my child clients will tell their parents when they cry "It's okay to cry. It makes you feel better."Scott Peck's A Road Less Traveled begins, "Life is difficult." Once we accept this fact, we are no longer so disturbed by it. The first step in both Science of Mind and 12-Step programs is to relax, or surrender, and come to know our limitations. Sometimes this feels strange but once we do it, the steps that follow are manageable, as we realize we are a small part of a much bigger picture. It helps put things in perspective and allows us to focus on our place in the universe. For a year my mantra was "Let it be," as Paul McCartney sang so eloquently. Now I frequently recite the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."Serenity, courage and wisdom allow me to problem solve when I feel unhappy. Therefore, unhappiness can be an indication of a need to change---if not my thoughts, then my circumstances. I figure out what I can not change, focus on what I can change and how to go about it. Problem solving gives meaning to our lives and develops courage and character. When problems are avoided, mental illnesses and destructive patterns develop, stunting our growth, rather than relieving our discontent. For more on this topic I recommend reading The Road Less Traveled (and the other books listed at the end of this article). Self-help reading is also known as biblio-therapy and can add to the tools you develop to bring about changes that you choose to make.We make our choices, but we cannot determine the paths of others. Couples often come into counseling wanting the other person to change. They struggle with the truth that they must change themselves in order for their relationship to change. It is the same with families. "If only my son would listen." Or "my mom just needs to back off and leave me alone." While these certainly provide clues to relational dynamics that are not working, the key here is that they are dynamics. If you change, the dynamic changes. No longer are you at the mercy of and frustrated by someone else. Now you are empowered to do something yourself, and to know you cannot change the other person's choice, regardless of what it is.Practice # 7: BE PATIENT, REALISTIC AND KIND TO YOURSELFMany people are hard on themselves and actually make themselves, and others, miserable. As the Serenity prayer reminds us, much of life is beyond our control, and what others think of us is "none of our business." People have their issues. They will sometimes try to project them on you so as to blame you for their problems. Many are neither aware of their issues nor willing to take responsibility for them.Learn to be true and good to yourself. You are on a journey. It is perfectly normal that you will fall down sometimes. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep walking. If you are not making mistakes, you are probably playing it too safe and may not be challenging yourself by taking risks in order to learn and grow.You do not have to be perfect. You can be human; we are all human! It is more interesting than being perfect anyway. If you do not love and accept yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? You cannot give to others what you do not have yourself. Take responsibility for your life, and have compassion for yourself and others. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Recognize that even failures are accomplishments because you are taking risks, living courageously, and learning lessons."There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen." (Tolle, 152)Just as nature has four seasons, in life there is a time for everything and everything has its time. We must trust we are divine creatures, a part of larger community, where not everything makes perfect sense, but in every sense we are being perfected. Like gold that goes through fire to be refined, we grow stronger as we overcome obstacles, building character and integrity. Realistically we are all sad at times, but overall we hope to have the joys in life outweigh the sorrows, and often a change in perspective can shift things dramatically. There are mountains and valleys, but within each experience, whether high or low, joy can be found."Honor your inner worth. Let your heart's desire breathe. Cherish your gifts. Treat yourself with tenderness, gentleness, and forgiveness. Open your heart and listen. Love is calling you to the mountain top" (Peck, 29).Practice # 8: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITYUltimately people choose to be happy: to find the silver lining in each cloud. If you continue to wait for happiness to arrive, you will be waiting a long time and wondering why you are not happy yet. You are responsible for creating a life that makes you feel happy, accepting the life you have, and finding the joy in each moment."The happiness that is derived from some secondary source is never very deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of Being, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state of nonresistance." (Tolle, 156)Some people do not take pleasure in their time alone. However, we need to stay connected to ourselves. When we are too busy, or always around others, we may lose perspective on what is most important to us. Taking some down time allows us to focus, think things through and be more aware of our choices. I have learned that down time, time I spend alone and contemplative, restores me emotionally and spiritually, helping me stay honest with myself, and on the path that is best for me.Self- awareness is necessary in order to "own your part" in conflict with others. It is easy to blame others for our pain, avoiding personal responsibility, yet as adults we have the power to choose who we relate to and how we relate to them. We must empower ourselves to take responsibility for our choices and let go of trying to change others. It takes courage to admit our faults and to recognize we have the ability to shape our own lives.While limitations exist and there are things beyond our control, we can always turn things around for ourselves if we are creative and brave. When we are honest, and have the integrity to do the right thing, even when it is difficult, we discover solutions we can feel happy about. We need to challenge ourselves, stop blaming others and see what we can do to create change. Mahatma Gandhi led by example and persuades us to "be the change you want to see in the world." This is essential to personal growth.Practice #9: COMMITMENT TO TRUTH - OPENNESS, HONESTY, AND INTEGRITYTrust is the foundation for healthy relationships. I have found tremendous healing in relationships where we have both been true to ourselves, direct, open, and honest with each other. If I am not being honest or doing the things I said I would do I feel bad about it, and I am sure the other person is not happy either. Sometimes we do not want to be around people who challenge us because we are trying to stay in our fantasy world where there is no pain or suffering."Insofar as the nature of the challenge is legitimate (and it usually is), lying is an attempt to circumvent legitimate suffering and hence is productive of mental illness." (Peck, 56)I strive to be a person of integrity, dedicated to being truthful. I can also find it difficult to admit my faults and trust others with my more vulnerable feelings. I understand the desire to lie, withhold, hide, avoid or pretend to be someone you are not. What I have learned is that sooner or later the reality of those choices catches up with us and we must face the consequences. The truth always reveals itself in time.It is difficult to assess or treat a client if the therapist does not know the reality of the client's situation. When relevant information is left out, the therapist's guidance may be ineffective or compromised in their ability to challenge a client's thoughts, feelings and behaviors. "The healing of the spirit has not been completed until openness to challenge becomes a way of life." (Peck, 54) If you are not dealing honestly with your therapist about your most important and often painful issues, you might want to examine your relationships and ability to trust. It can be difficult to be vulnerable and trust the therapist with secrets, yet this is where change and growth can occur.Addiction is well-documented as an illness where people lie to themselves and others. Justifications and deception allow a person to continue their behaviors and ignore the destructive nature of their choices. Families who keep secrets are confusing to be around because nothing is as it seems. As the therapist challenges these behaviors you are able to develop trust, honesty and integrity which will translate into your personal life. Healthier, open and direct communication will allow people to feel safer and happier.Practice # 10: COMMUNITY SERVICE AND GIVING TO OTHERSOnce you are grounded in joy and peace, you are ready to spread joy and peace to others. The best way to sustain happiness is to help others feel happy too. Pass it on, pay it forward. Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us "If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." (3) We are social creatures who need others, and they us. Random acts of kindness can change the course of a bad day into a good day. Simple things like smiling, treating others with respect, or offering to help can spread happiness. When I first moved to California I had the unexpected pleasure of a having my bridge toll paid by the stranger in front of me. It immediately lifted my spirits and I talked about it for several days. Often people say, "If I were rich I would give generously to others." Money is not the only thing people need. Kindness and giving of your time to another person can make a world of difference. Do what you can. Compassion for others will help you feel better, distract you from your problems and expand your perspective. It is in the journey we find joy, not in the destination.I hope this article encourages you and brings you closer to feeling happy more often. Like a boat whose rudder is moved slightly to change coarse, small changes in life can lead to entirely different experiences. The more you incorporate these healthy practices, the more you will find yourself laughing and enjoying your life. Best wishes as you enjoy your journey and spread the joy to others!Bibliography:Burns, David D., M.D. Feeling Good. New York: Avon Books, 1980, 1999.The Dali Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D. The Art of Happiness. New York: Riverhead, 1998.Gottman, John. Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Fireside, 1994.Loehr, Jim, and Tony Schwartz. The Power of Full Engagement. New York: Free Press, 2003.Moore, Thomas. Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life. New York: Harper-Collins, 1994.Nhat Hahn, Thich. Being Peace. Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 1987.Peck, M. Scott, M.D. The Road Less Travelled. New York: Touchstone, 1978Ryan, M.J. The Happiness Makeover. New York: Broadway Books, 2005.Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now. Novato, CA: New World Library, 1997. Start rewriting the article, please wait...
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